November 24th, 2009 | 
Author: The beginning of my religious journey began at an early age in the Catholic faith. I was baptized as a baby and later confirmed as a teenager into a religion that I never seemed to fully understand. Time went by, until finally there was a turning point in my life. The summer before the start of my freshman year of high school, my grandpa passed away and my whole world fell apart. I suddenly became very angry at God and cursed His name. The question “Why?” loomed ever in my mind. Why did God take my grandpa away? I didn’t understand how something so horrible could happen to someone who lived for God.
I came to the conclusion that God was not who He claimed to be. He was unfair, unjust, and unworthy of praise. At that point, I turned my back on religion, the Bible, and ultimately God. The trials and tribulations, however, had only just begun.
I was tormented and teased relentlessly in high school. I cried myself to sleep night after night longing for something or someone to fill the emptiness deep within my heart and in the depths of my soul. I soon met the man who would later become my fiancé. He swept me off my feet and I fell deeply in love, but the relationship was abusive both verbally and mentally. And yet, I could never gain the courage to leave. I was being ruled by my emotions.
When the relationship abruptly ended two years later, I fell into the darkest time of my entire life — depression, self-mutilation, and thoughts of suicide ruled my thoughts. Over and over again I tried to end my life to take away the pain, but I always failed. I was lost and confused traveling a hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction, that is until God blessed me with wonderful friends who have been there with me through my difficult journey.
They have never stopped praying for me and no matter how many times I fell back into my own ways they have not given up on me. They have pointed me to Jesus and for that I am eternally grateful. I believe depression will always be a struggle for me, but it does not define who I am. I don’t need to live in sorrow since it is written in John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son so that whoever believes in Him shall not die, but have eternal life.” It is because of this promise that I can proclaim today, “Hallelujah, Christ is Lord!”
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Source: BobbyGilles
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